This week we headed back to court for yet another hearing. However, this day was different. It didn't come with the same nervousness and anxiety that other hearing days had brought on. This day came with an indescribable peace. On this day I sat in the court lobby and took in all the sights and sounds of the vintage courthouse where those who work there had come to know us. The two ladies who work as clerks greeted us with smiles and asked how we've been and assured us the docket wasn't as full as usual. No cellphones are allowed in the courthouse so everyone sits and watches what is happening as people are called and come and go to the courtroom. Seeing people in orange jumpsuits and shackles on their hands and feet isn't something I was accustomed to seeing until we started making our visits to this place. People usually sit quietly, other than talking to their attorneys or caseworkers. It seems it's not the place to strike up a conversation with a stranger...which I have been known to do a few times. This day was different though. I sat down in one of the old wooden chairs to wait for our case to be called and kept sensing the lady next to me was wanting to talk. I wanted to take this waiting time to kind of reflect on all the ups and downs we had taken to get to this point. I had a memory book with me that I flipped through. I was actually trying to avoid talking to this woman and if you know me, that's not the usual me. She soon leaned over and asked if my kids were "taken away too?" In my mind a lot of answers came rushing in but I simply said, No. Now, I could have stopped there but I continued and said, we're foster parents. She actually looked surprised when I said that. We were interrupted then and I had to get up for a moment. When I came back, I found a friend who I hadn't seen in a long time and we spent some time catching up. But after our conversation was over, I noticed the lady who questioned me was talking to her attorney. After he left, she turned to me again and asked me if we like being foster parents? Hmmmm...this question had such a complex answer but I simply said, we love our kids, all of them the same. It's not an easy road to walk but it's so worth it. Then she told me a little bit about how she ended up in this courtroom lobby and about her child's time in foster care. My heart really did break for her and her child. Then she asked me the most profound question that just hit me and has stuck with me...dare I say, it's haunted me. She asked, do you think my child will be okay? I froze. This mom was looking me straight in the eye with a pleading kind of look...her eyes and expression showed what she was really asking me was, is my child safe? Is my child taken care of? Is my child being shown love? Is my child having his needs met or exceeded? IS MY CHILD GOING TO BE OKAY?!? At THAT instant, it HIT me....the gravity and the overwhelming need that there is for GOOD, LOVING, PROVIDING, SAFE, COMFORTING, CHRISTIAN foster homes so that I can confidently say, Yes, sweet momma who is working so hard to get your child back. Your child is being provided for, loved, and counseled in a way that is going to help him through the struggles and sadness and abandonment and fear that he is trudging through, and that will help sustain him until he is okay. Instead, I calmly said, I believe that he will be...but did I really believe this? I don't know! I look back and think, what a dumb, insensitive answer! I have heard about foster homes where kids aren't loved and provided for but viewed rather as a job, and actually had someone say that my husband and I didn't fit "their typical idea of what and who foster parents are." Yep, I didn't even respond to that. Just a smile and a nod.
This profound moment when all a mother wanted, and needed, was peace that her child was going to be okay, this moment will stick with me forever for so many reasons. I pray that her child is, and that she is, and that they can be reunited. If you have ever considered foster care, I challenge you to take the next step to providing peace of mind to moms like the one I met. I really can't say that we will continue to foster after this is all said and done. There are a lot of factors. However, I believe we will always be open and strive to be obedient to the calling of foster care. Tonight, please pray for the moms and dads who have kids in care and are wondering if their kids are going to be okay. Pray for peace, strength and the wisdom to do what they need to do to be reunited.
As our case was called, this mom who was searching for peace, wished us luck with a big smile and we disappeared into the court room. During our time in that room, we cried...or sobbed...happy tears, tears of pure relief and joy. You see, in that moment we knew our daughter was going to be okay.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us....
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