November 30, 2016
The foster care system has a lot of flaws but for all the flaws, it is still a beautiful journey that will catch you off guard at times. We were caught off guard today. My husband and I sat in a courtroom hand in hand as we listened and waited for the judge to make a ruling that would change the course of our life and the life of a precious child forever. The gravity of that ruling and the depth of our love for this child that we brought into our home and family 18 months ago displayed itself when I found myself fighting back tears. As the attorneys laid out the case for and against our angel baby's birth parents, my heart grieved for them, I grieved for our little angel baby. She didn't deserve to be a case number. She didn't deserve to be the topic of court hearings. It is really a little difficult to explain all of the emotions. I was saddened that her parents were missing out on so much. I was saddened that the complex, difficult circumstances of their own childhoods had hurt them in such ways that they could not properly care for their child. Then I realized that the tears welling up in my eyes were coming from a deep, fierce, and profound love for this child whom I did not give birth too but loved no different than my two children that I did. These tears caught me off guard. I glanced at my husband to try to stop the wave of emotions that were crashing over me at that moment but what I saw made me melt even more. I saw in my husband's eyes the same tears welling up. Men may not talk much about their emotions or be real emotional about much but I believe the one area that can always make a man emotional is their children. At that moment, I saw the depths of the love for this little girl in the tears of her daddy. Tears that were uncontrollable, tears that had the judge, defense and states attorneys all tearing up. There is no doubt that this little one has found where she belongs. Our hearts could not contain our love in that courtroom so it overflowed through our eyes. For all the flaws, the system got it right today and the door was opened for us to become a forever family...now we have tears of joy. 
