People have asked how our adventure is going and while there's not much we can share, I want to share this...When we brought the most precious baby into our home it happened rather fast...like 8 hours. Our heads were spinning a bit but that was okay. We knew a little of what we were getting into. We knew that it may be for just a little while. We knew "awhile" could mean 2-3 years....then we learned that "awhile" could possibly mean forever. We knew this would be rollercoaster journey. One that might test our stamina, our faith, our trust of "the system." We went in with our eyes wide open and very aware of all the risks of grief and heartache. We also knew it would be a precious, amazing time in our life, and a huge blessing, no matter the length of time.
We are now several months into this journey, and we have found our new normal. Most days are spent living just a normal life as a family of five. We attend church, family gatherings, have friends over, go out to eat, have movie nights, and lay around the house just being a family, a family of five. As if this is how our family will always be. Then there are those days that remind me that we're not just a "normal" family of five. Family visits, court dates, paperwork, caseworker visits, calls and more paperwork. Recently, Roger was talking to someone who asked how old our kids are now. He told them how old the boys are and stopped there...a reminder that we aren't able to share the story of the littlest among us because she's not "ours." Legally she may not be ours but in our hearts she is just as much ours as our sons are.
Most days there is a great, indescribable peace about where we're headed and what is going to happen in the future. Then there are those times when the stress of the uncertainty is heavy. It's usually brief but enough to make me feel like my head may explode from holding my breath waiting to see what the outcome of this part of our story...of her story...will be.
Isn't this the case with so many things in our lives? Living with uncertainty. It can strain our hope, blind our faith and cause us to look to what we can do to control the outcome. I have found myself mumbling the words, God is Sovereign, over and over again at different moments the last several months. In my life, my family's life, and in the lives of all the children in foster care He IS sovereign. We see Him in all the details of our story. God loves us, people!! And that is something we so easily forget and forget to share with others.
I have come to learn and understand that foster care, while extremely complex, is really simple....it is love. A willingness to jump all in and love without boundaries, just like we are loved. That's all it really is. We love. Everything we do, our willingness to ride this ride through the ups and downs and loopty loops is solely because of our ability to love...and love fiercely. So we'll just continue living love with our normal family of five, and be inspired daily to look for more ways to simply love others.
